An Observation of Not Being Friendly

On Saturday, I went with a few friends to Purina Farms (about 40 minutes outside of the city) with a group of 11 inner city children (between ages 5 and 15) as a part of a volunteer program. It was a great opportunity to observe and analyze some things we have learned about in this class because all 11 kids we were with were African American and from government housing while probably 98% of the other people at Purina Farms (which had dog shows and baby animal Easter exhibits) were white. The families seemed pretty familiar to me- white, a mom, a dad, an occasional grandparent, equipped with strollers, bags, and cameras while chasing after their kids. My immediate thoughts when we walked into the dog show was "do they feel uncomfortable? Do they even notice the "race" here?" Im sure they hardly noticed it, but it made me wonder how it would have been different had I been with older kids or people my age.


Throughout the day at Purina Farms, I was amazed by how polite and kind they were to each other because none of their parents were there (it is very rare in my experience to go four hours with a group of children and have no one cry or fight, or to witness them hug and be so kind to each other so often.) Which is exactly why when a parent made a rude comment to them while everyone had an opportunity to milk a cow, I felt anger in a situation that I normally would have never attributed to race before this class. To paint a visual picture, imagine a large group of about 30 children (mostly white) with parents hovering and almost pushing to take pictures (ignoring the other children trying to see around them, of course) with very little organization while one farmer was letting every child attempt to milk one cow. Chaos. None of the kids were in a line...and when the social worker we were with noticed this she told our kids to go try to get a turn (they were waiting patiently on the side.) As we approached, one mom said "I'm sorry there is a line" in a rude tone. Why had she not informed the other white children surrounding her preschooler of this fact as well? Were the children I was with not being "friendly" enough? Was she brave enough to say something because she realized they did not have parents there to say anything back to her?? They actually apologized and let her child cut them, and let many other white children cut them as well as if it was normal, and it honestly made me sick to my stomach. Consciously, I do not believe this woman would believe herself to be "racist" but I honestly cannot see another reason for her actions. This class has pointed some very crucial social cues out to me. I hope we can all be advocates for social change and help moments like this end. While this may have been subtle racism... it seemed entirely too blatant for me. We just need more people to see it that way.